Diet Month of May
So all this month, my mother is trying one of those buy a huge box of supplements and crap to see how much weight she can lose. Me… Well I don’t have any money because I really don’t work soooo I will doing fad diets just to see if they actually work or if they are a crock of s***. Who knows? Anyway, today is day one. So I decided to keep to a normal-ish schedule of waking before 7 am and reading a bit before actually “waking up, waking up”. As a total nerd, I have to read a few minutes to remember that the real world is not as interesting or beautiful as the book I’m reading. But anyway back to diet diary. I am 184.8lb as of today which is actually a huge improvement to previous diet beginnings. The first two weeks of this diet fad month is going to be this diet I found on pinterest called the hardboiled egg diet. It’s a two week diet and its really annoyingly vague so I decided to add a few of my ideas to it.
Day One Meal Plan:
Before Breakfast (B4B): Lemon Water ACV Drink
Breakfast (B): Two Hard Boiled Eggs and half a citric fruit
Lunch (L): Meal Replacement Shake
Dinner (D): Lean meat and veggies
Before Bed (BB): Turmeric Green Tea
Anyways as of twenty minutes ago, I made the Lemon Water ACV Drink. I decided to combine healthy fad along with my diet fad so that I become super healthy. (I’m doing this as an experiment as well as a way to actually lose weight and become a little healthier.) Anyway, the Lemon Water ACV Drink consists of disgusting Apple Cider Vinegar (1Tb), freshly squeezed lemon juice (1Tb), raw honey (1Tb) and cayenne pepper powder (1tsp) all into a cup of unfiltered water. Okay so ew. This drink was worse than anything I’ve ever actually had to swallow. I was quickly disgusted with myself and the cup of “healthy” s*** that sat on my kitchen counter. I had to get a cup of water to drink between the two chugs I took of the drink to finish it all the way off. As I sit here writing this little bit, well I’m burping up cayenne and ACV, and it is not appetizing either way. While I made, and drank this foul tasting healthy crap, I had my two eggs boiling and cut up my grapefruit. I personally love eggs, anyway and any form so that’s why I choose this diet as my first fad diet. I wanted to be able to eat many, many eggs.
On to the second part of this diet fad month, the working out part. It summer so, the pool is clean and ready for ten laps every day plus an hour of general working out in the pool. Yup. Plus another thing that is trending right now, workout challenges! Woohoo! Yeah! NO! Seriously, I’ve tried these stupid challenges all year and I haven’t got one finish yet so I’m not really holding my breath on this one either but whatever. I’m gonna start this 30-day Butt and Gut Challenge on Pinterest. Today it’s 10 squats and 10 crunches. It is a slow introduction to the challenge which I totally appericate since I’m physically prone to harm myself and others when I try to work out in some way or another. Its stupid but true. Anyways this is what I am going to be doing between B4B and B. Hopefully, with the combination of all these stupid trending diets and challenges, I’ll actually lose weight and be able to sit in a coach seat on British Airlines comfortable.
Breakfast was uhhh good? I used to have half a grapefruit when I was younger whenever I visited my grandmother’s house but she drenched it in that liquid Sweet’n’low so it was definitely not as healthy as todays was. Plus, she’d make a whole meal with eggs and bacon. But at last, today’s meal was two hard boiled eggs with half a grapefruit. I’m not complaining or anything just wondering, are you supposed to taste the pesticides in the grapefruit? Seriously, this grapefruit tasted like chemicals and soap, I was slightly disgusted but what was I supposed to do…
Anyways, I’ve found another thing I may start doing which is: using the egg shells for compost. I have green thumb so I have a bunch of plants going right now. A mystery plant that is huge and I totally forgot what it was, so I just call it Mys short for… you guessed it mystery. I also have five bell pepper plants going along with three black bean plants. I also have collards growing like crazy as well as a few other plants so I think if I just grind up the shells every morning after I eat my breakfast and dump them around the different plants I’ll save a little money of actually buy stuff like plant food also! I’m being green. It’s a small way of being green but that usually where your supposed to start. Doing small things.
After an hour of swimming… I decided it was time to eat lunch or really… drink it. Okay on the bright side I drank healthy and I’m full. On the dark and deathly side, I had to chug the crap out of that disgusting piece of s*** (I need to find a better descriptive) because it tasted like slightly sweet freshly cut grass. Don’t ask how I know this. It’s a long freaking story. So the substitute grass tasting slush I drank was collard greens (the ones I’m growing in my backyard-1c), almond milk (which is good because I’m lactose intolerant-1c), berries (1c), half a banana, almond butter (1T), and rolled oats (2T). Overall, I thought it was going to be delicious because I tried another recipe from the page I got this one from and that one was delicious, I was sadly wrong. It was disgusting. You live and you learn, I guess.
Anyways, I’ve come to understand that this first week is going to be a b*t*h because I am wrapping up college. I have to finish editing a stupid paper for my U.S.-Mexico Border class where the prof is a hard grader which basically makes me want to die. I also have to finish reading a book called Burmese Lessons overall, it’s a great story. A true love story about a Canadian woman falling in love with a Burmese leader against the military regime. I’m majoring in Asian History and I love Burmese history. It is so moving how the people working together to fight for their rights. The university students really move me.
Dinner time… yay! By 5:30pm I am basically dying. That stupid smoothie was not good at all and made me burp up grass until I took a bite of my hardboiled egg with my salad. All together I had a small thigh of sweet’n’spicy chicken with a nice spinach salad. I personally love spinach salads because I feel like I’m getting multi things out of the salad. It was delicious and very filling. Thank everything under the sun! Now an hour before bed I get to drink a cup of Turmeric Green Tea. I’m definitely not as worried as I was about the ACV drink because it’s just a little bit of turmeric.
Anyway, thanks for reading my stupid little diet diary that’s all this really is. Hope yall have a good first day of May!