Book Memory

Hello, sorry I haven’t posted in forever. I actually started classes again and also started something new called a Bullet Journal. Which I am in love with! I’m already a full month in to using it and I like it! But anyway back to what I came here to discuss. A book memory. What I mean by this is that the memory you get when rereading a certain book. Well I just got one the other day.

I love rereading my books, hell that’s why I have so many (over 2,000). Well I was reading this book for a little bit and finally got a part I remembers. It was where the main woman goes to have dinner with her verbally abusive father and too-good mother, who were now divorced from each other and have significant others. When I read the first couple lines of the chapter I got hit with a very sad memory. My mother in hospital and me sleeping on the hospital room couch. I was so upset, I had to sit down on the ground for a moment. I could not believe it hit me so hard. It was almost two years ago now.

The full memory was me laying on the couch with an animate angry face on as I discussed how pissed I would be if I was the main woman with my mother. My mother had been admitted to the hospital for a blood clot in her leg where she had knee surgery. I was faking so hard at being so upset about my book just so I didn’t break down crying at the thought that my mother literally could have died just days after Thanksgiving.

Just typing this, my heart is clenching and just feeling like shit because a year after that my maternal grandmother died. I can only think of how lucky I was not to lose my own mother even though my heart shattered at loosing the woman who had a huge part in making me who I am. She supported my writing, always saying I would be a great author. Too bad she’s not gonna be able to see me finish my first novel.

Anyway, sorry for such a sad piece. I just needed to get it out.

Thanks for reading,

J~

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